5 Things To Know Before You Start Swinging
- Learn The Language Of Swinging.
Swinging can be described as two people coming together to “swap” their partners for sex. When you swing, there are two options: a “soft swap” or a full swap. A soft swap is when you engage in oral sex with someone other than your partner. A full swap is when you have intercourse. A “unicorn”, a single woman, is willing to have sex with heterosexual couples. The “closed door” refers when your partner is okay with you having sex outside of your direct line of sight. See these BDSM articles for an idea of how to pursue kinkier sex.
- Discuss Your Expectations With Your Partner.
Talk to your partner in detail about what you will or won’t do when you go out together. Are you going to only have group sex? Will you be able to swap partners with another couple or will you only engage in group sex? Here is a kink 101 guide. What do you want to get from swinging? You should have the same goals and reasons to open up. Brito says that it is important not to coerce your partner into agreeing with you. If both partners are interested and informed, swinging will be fun.
- Consider What Safer Sex Precautions Are Necessary.
It is important to have an open discussion about the types of protection you will use and the level of risk that you are comfortable with. Condoms, which are barrier protection methods, can help lower your risk of STIs. However, no protection is perfect. Discuss with your partner what you will do if you have an unplanned pregnancy, or a positive STI test.
- Plan A Check-In.
You’re likely to feel many emotions after your first swing. Although they will all be positive, it is possible to feel overwhelmed, confused, guilty or overwhelmed by all the excitement. It is a good idea to set aside time for you as a couple to connect and check in after the experience. Talk about the experience and what went well, the challenges, and any changes you would like to make if you do it again. This situation can be helped by a sex-positive therapist that specializes in consensual Nonmonogamy.
- Connect To A Network
Are you ready to jump in? Howard suggests that you start by going to a swinger’s group and then watching, before getting involved. She suggests looking for clubs in your local area and making sure you read the guidelines before attending. Be respectful of the boundaries of others and practice good consent practices.
How To Share The Idea With Your Partner.
It might be a challenge to tell your partner you are interested in swinging. Monogamy is a strong norm, so even those who seem excited about the idea of swinging may have to be careful.
You can create the perfect foundation for a productive conversation by bringing it up when you are sure your partner is in a relaxed mood and has no other pressing matters to attend to. Make the conversation more than a statement about what you want. It can be a great way to get to know your partner and listen to their feelings. Responding to them with love, rather than defensiveness, will go a long ways in helping you to grow. After you have had a chance to open up, you might suggest that you both research together. Your partner will feel more secure if you frame it as a mutual exploration.
Like all forms of consensual, non-monogamy, swinging can provide a variety of rewarding and exciting encounters that can strengthen the relationship between you and your partner. You can expect many happy, sweaty nights if you and your partner agree on what swinging means to you.